An emergency meeting of some of the greatest footy minds in NSW has been called to scrutinise their possible selections for Game Two in Melbourne.
Laurie Daley: Thanks for coming everyone. I'm sure we can all agree: things are looking grim.
Ricky Stuart: Never would have happened if I were still coach.
Phil Gould: Turn it up Sticky.
Stuart: Well it's true.
Steve Roach: Who let you in here anyway Sticky?
Daley: (sighs) We need to go over the current squad with a fine tooth comb. Who needs to go, who do we keep and who do we bring in?
Stuart: Jarryd Hayne.
Daley: What about him? He's trying to play NFL in America.
Gould: You know what? Sticky has a point. We need Jarryd Hayne back.
Daley: But he's not even in the country.
Roach, Gould and Stuart break into a chant of "Jarryd! Jarryd!"
Daley: Moving on. It looks like Robbie Farah might be out injured for Game Two. Who should we replace him with?
Gould: Sshh! Be careful how you speak Loz. I don't want Robbie getting the wrong idea that we're talking about him behind his back. He has ears everywhere you know. I'd like to keep my job thank you very much.
Daley: But if he's injured who should replace him? Michael Ennis or Nathan Peats?
Stuart: Jarryd Hayne!
Daley: Cut that out Sticky!
Brad Fittler bursts into the board room.
Fittler: Sorry I'm late boys. Couldn't find the room and I needed to use the loo. Got into a bit of strife the last time I got myself in a situation like that. Ha ha. What are we talking about?
Daley: Who should replace Robbie Farah at hooker?
Fitler: Jarryd Hayne!
Fittler, Roach, Stuart and Gould break into another chant of "Jarryd! Jarryd!"
Daley:The bloke is in America.
Fittler: I've got his mobile number. I'll give him a bell.
Daley: (frustrated) Right, I'm penciling in Ennis. What about the halves? Some people are saying we bring in Josh Reynolds. But I don't know. The way he's been playing at the moment he's liable to bring a set of brass knuckles and a switch blade onto the field.
Gould: You know who I think we need in the halves?
Daley: Don't you say it Gus.
Roach: Jarryd Hayne!!
Daley: Bloody hell.
Fittler: (speaking on his mobile) Yeah Jarryd. I'm here with Loz and the rest of the usual suspects. We're gagging for you back mate. When can you hop a plane back to Oz?
Stuart: Hi Jarryd! Freddy, tell Jarryd I said hello.
Fittler: Yeah Sticky's here too for some reason...
Daley: What about our wingers? Tupou and Hopoate were about as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking competition. Sure we'll bring in Gallen, but who do we drop to slot him in? If we bring in Josh Reynolds which of our halves do we give the flick? Hodkinson surely because Pearce can kick the ball REALLY high. But if we have a team with Gallen, Ennis and Reynolds even our own fans will hate us.
Again Stuart, Gould, Roach and Fitler break into a chant of "Jarryd! Jarryd! Jarryd!"
Daley: Thanks for your input guys. I think next team selection meeting will consist of a bottle of Jack, a blind fold and a dart board. Might be more effective.