NRL 3 years ago

49ers struggle with Hayne's 'Aussie' nature

  • 49ers struggle with Hayne's 'Aussie' nature

The Following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by any one at any time for any reason.

*Just hours after San Francisco 49ers offensive coordinator, Geep Chryst' comments regarding Jarryd Hayne's 'language barrier' when it comes to American football, Hayne found himself the recipient of a first and final warning from the coaching staff. What follows is a press release issued by 49ers coaching staff. 

Jarryd Hayne was today reprimanded after a string of strange off-field behaviour. Only his enthusiasm on the training paddock has saved him. 

First Hayne goaded several players, including Colin Kaepernick, to smear a black, viscous substance on their toast and eat it. Kaepernick was throwing up for two days straight as a result of consuming this tar-like substance. Hayne kept trying to convince the 49ers coaching staff that he eats this "Vegemite" - as he calls it - every day. We view this situation as a prank gone horribly wrong. 

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Then Hayne apparently tried to convince team mates in a huddle to imbibe their own urine if a play resulted in a touch down. Hayne was heard saying "if this play pans out, it's my shout, we'll go sink some piss".

Finally Hayne claims to wear "thongs" on his feet whenever he is not at practice. A claim that resulted in Reggie Bush and Torrey Smith injuring themselves after getting curious and attempting to walk around with underwear on their feet. The underwear on their feet got tangled and they fell down a flight of stairs together. Both suffered only minor injuries. 

Hayne claims these offences are the simple result of miscommunication. Nonetheless, Hayne is on his first and final warning.  


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