Tennis 3 years ago

Kyrgios' Wawrinka sledge press conference

  • Kyrgios' Wawrinka sledge press conference

The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by anyone for any reason. 

Kyrgios: I'd like to thank everyone for coming. I called this press conference to address the cracking sledge I gave Stan Wawrinka yesterday.

ESPN: The entire tennis world has reacted violently to your comment to Wawrinka. Today we heard the news you have been fined $10,000 by tennis Australia. What are your thoughts?

Kyrgios: Well it's a bit of a storm in a tea cup really isn't it? The ten grand doesn't phase me, I'll have that rolling around the bottom of my tennis bag in loose change. I don't know what everyone is getting so bent out of shape about. It's not as if I lied or anything. It was a heat of the moment thing. I could have said something outrageous and really insulting, like "Oi Stan! Lleyton Hewitt rooted your Mum!" But I didn't. 

ESPN: Are you even sorry?

Kyrgios: I sure am sorry. I'm sorry I threw my mate Kokkinakis under the bus. I got nothing but mad love for you brother! 

Fox Sports: Aren't you the last person who should be giving lip with a hair cut like that?

Kyrgios: Whaddya mean?

Fox Sports: Nick, it looks as though you've been accosted by a weed whacker and pissed on by a rainbow.

Kyrgios: HA! That would have been an even better sledge! Oi Stan! It was actually your missus that GAVE me this haircut! Ha ha ha. 

Fox Sports: Seriously though, who cut your hair? Ray Charles? 

Kyrgios: Ease up.

Daily Mail: I've seen better hair styles on a pit bull after a dog fight.

Kyrgios: Ok, joke's over.

Channel 7: With a hair cut like that Wawrinka should have been giving you a serve. What were you thinking?

Kyrgios: I've had enough of this! My hair cut is awesome! Up yours! 

Nick Kyrgios stands up, gives the attending press the finger and storms off. 

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