The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by any one at any time under any circumstances.
After several weeks of universal confusion surrounding the shoulder charge the NRL has issued this press release to truly clarify the shoulder charge rule. This couldn't come at a better time after a farcical week at the NRL judiciary with three players charged and acquitted of shoulder charge offences.
The NRL would like to clarify once and for all that we are 100% all bark and no bite when it comes to the shoulder charge. Kane Evans, Isaac Luke, Aidan Guerra and Jorge Taufua have all escaped citation in the last two weeks despite our prolific huffing and puffing about "cracking down" on the shoulder charge.
We at the NRL are completely committed to player safety. With that in mind, we are determined to charge any and every player whenever the lilly-livered general public kicks up a stink and protests what used to be referred to as a "big hit", "massive shot" or general "decent tackle".
With player safety in mind and taming the left-wing sissy's of the world, we have re-defined what a shoulder charge is.
From hence forth whenever a defending player attempts to tackle, wrestle, stop or in any way slow down an attacking player with their arms or body in a forceful manner it will be deemed a "shoulder charge" and sent straight to the judiciary.
These charges however can be easily defended with excuses such as "he was running at me real fast", "I was just bracing myself. Honest!" or "what else was I supposed to do?".
We hope this clarifies any queries or confusion.