Dear Teams, both NRL and AFL, that didn't make the Finals,
What the hell is going on? This has got to have been the most tame, boring Mad Monday celebration in recent memory!
No allegations of sexually harassing female journalists, no bestiality, no sexual assault claims, no bikies, no assaulting team mates, no topless waitresses: I mean what is going on?!
Todd Carney is over in Europe laughing at you all! Brendan Fevola is probably ashamed!
I am personally appalled at this complete lack of hijinx and drama.
Part of the charm of suffering through week after week of dodgy officiating, weird little hissy fits and coaching musical chairs is so we can be shocked and appalled at the true depths of your depravity!
I'm not saying you try to top ex-NRL Canberra Raider, Joel Monaghan's run-in with the RSPCA after getting a little too "frisky" with a dog, but come on players! Try something!
It's pathetic that there hasn't been a scandal of a Fight Club or an arsonist or even a good old fashioned kidnapping.
Get your act together boys! If this inaction continues there will be a Royal Commission called. I expect a lot more from the losers this time next year.