NRL 3 years ago

Russel Packer Cleared to Play NRL: Beware

  • Russel Packer Cleared to Play NRL: Beware

The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by anyone for any reason at any time. 

With Russell Packer cleared to play for the St George Illawarra Dragons next year, other NRL clubs are quietly terrified of what Packer may bring to the field. 

Some rival players are said to be dreading being caught in the ruck with the new Dragons forward, fearing prison shower room habits may spill over into general play. Several of Packer's new team mates are even refusing to play the ball if Packer somehow finds himself behind them at hooker. 

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It is rumoured that part of Packer's new contract stipulates that he wear an adult diaper at all Dragons' home games to ensure he doesn't "answer the call of nature" on his home ground. Away games are a different story though. 

Other NRL teams seem to have drawn inspiration from the Dragons with several teams scouring current convicts and recent parolee's. 

It is rumoured the West's Tigers are in talks with Queensland fraudster Peter Foster in the hope that he can cook the Tigers books and relieve some of their salary cap pressure. 

The Melbourne Storm have apparently commenced negotiations with "The Running Hitman" made famous by the Williams/Moran gang war of the late 90's and early 00's. It is said he is tough as a coffin nail and one of the fastest men in or out of jail. "Years of making your getaway from bank robberies on foot have made him pretty quick," said Bellamy. "We envision him as an elite winger."

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