WARNING: The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously.
Earlier this week Anthony "The Man" Mundine labelled himself a faster version of Jonathan Thurston. After Mundine was knocked out by American Charles "The Future" Hatley on Wednesday night - in a show of great sportsmanship - JT visited The Man while he was recovering in bed. Here is how that meeting went down.
JT: Hey buddy, how you doing? How's your head?
Mundine: Who's that? Mummy?
JT: Ha ha ha. Nah. It's Jonathan Thurston mate. Feeling a bit crook are ya? Laid up in the sick bay here?
Mundine: Oh nah. It's nothing. Just a concussion...and possible brain damage. No biggie.
JT: That's funny, I didn't think your brain could be any more damaged than normal. Ah ha ha ha! Nah seriously though, I just thought now would be the perfect time to let you know there's no hard feelings about the other day.
Mundine: I don't know what you're talking about sorry mate. Memory loss from the concussion and possible brain damage. You know how it is.
JT: No I don't actually. You said when you were playing footy you were a faster version of me. You basically said you were better than me. You were me with twin turbo's. I figured maybe you were just punch drunk after a sparring session or something. So I'm here to tell you: no hard feelings. I know it's the dead brain cells speaking, ha ha ha.
Mundine: Oh no, I meant that because it's true. My skills set was equal to you but I was and am a better athlete. I'm faster, stronger and better than you.
JT: Remind me again how many Premierships you won?
Mundine: One with the Broncos thank you very much.
JT: Yeah but that was Super League, that doesn't count at all! So technically you haven't won a single Premiership. Well, I've won two. Pretty rough that someone slower than you has two more Premierships than you. Wait. How many Dally M's have you won too by the way? I've won four.
Mundine: Well I didn't win any but that's because...
JT: How about Tests then? How many Tests did you play for Australia?
Mundine: The selectors were all racist and didn't pick me...
JT: Nah, nah, nah, you can't play the race card against me! Ah ha ha ha!
Mundine: Look JT, it's nothing personal. Just accept the fact that I'm your better in every way. I'm the uncrowned greatest athlete in the world.
JT: I've been internationally recognised as the greatest Rugby League player twice. I have receive the Golden Boot award twice. That literally means I'm the best in the world.
Mundine: You only got that because of politics. It's all bad politics. I'm just the best JT. I'm better than you in every way.
JT: (nodding) Ha ha ha, ok. Well there is one thing I'm better than you at...
Mundine: What's that mate?
JT: I choose my friends better, ha ha.
JT opens the door and in walks Danny Green, cracking his knuckles.
JT: Remember Anthony, keep your guard up mate. If you're ever gonna use those twin turbos, now would be the time.
JT leaves the room as Danny Green starts winds up to deck Mundine in bed. Mundine has begun to beg.