Action Sports 3 years ago

Rousey's Doctor

  • Rousey's Doctor
WARNING: The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by anyone at all. 

After Ronda Rousey's shock knock out loss to Holly Holm at UFC 193 in Melbourne, Rousey was taken to a local hospital in Melbourne. There she was treated by a young doctor. 

Rousey: Where am I? What happened?

Doctor: You're OK. You're in hospital for some precautionary tests. You got knocked out. You lost. You bloody lost. 

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Rousey: I don't remember....

Doctor: Yeah well, I can't forget...

Rousey: What?

Doctor: Never mind. How many fingers am I holding up Ronda?

Rousey: Ten.

Doctor: Good. Now to check your cognitive abilities to clear you of serious brain injury or concussion, I need you to multiply ten by one thousand. How many is that?

Rousey: Ten thousand?

Doctor: Very good. Now can you tell me how much someone would make if they had odds on the favourite of $1.09 and bet $10,000?

Rousey: What? I, I don't understand.

Doctor: Please Ronda! This is very important! If you were to bet $10,000 at $1.09 how much would you win?! 

Rousey: Umm....$900?

Doctor: Very good Ronda. Now, can you tell me how much you would make if you bet $10,000 on the favourite and some jumped-up boxer beat the reigning, $1.09 favourite? 

Rousey: My head really hurts. Can I get some pain relief? My jaw is throbbing and my lips really hurt. 

Doctor: Just answer me Ronda! It's imperative you answer me! How much would I make if i bet $10,000 on the $1.09 favourite and that favourite loses?

Rousey: Nothing? You would lose $10,000?

Doctor: Exactly. I lost $10,000 betting on a 12 and 0 champ. It was supposed to be easy money. The easiest $900 of my life! Instead I'm in the hole for $10,000 and my girlfriend is pissed!

Rousey: Please doc: Morphine or Endone. Something! 

Doctor: I'm just so disappointed. Now I have to stitch your lip up. Hmmmm.

Rousey: Can we organise something? What do you want?

Doctor: I want my $900!

Rousey: Done!!

Doctor: Great. Here are some Endone to help with your pain....wait, hang on a second: I'm still out $10,000!!

Rousey: That wasn't the deal. You wanted your $900. That was the deal. 

The Doctor growls in frustration.

Rousey: Ha, ha, ha. Now who's the loser?

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