NRL 3 years ago

Titans Negotiations with McQueen

  • Titans Negotiations with McQueen

The following is a Stitch Up.

The Titans have had a lot of trouble this year with signing and negotiating with potential new players to their great club. The following recording of the Chris McQueen offer and negotiation could shine a light on where it may all be going wrong for the club. The meeting is between McQueen, Titans CEO Graham Annesley and Titans Coach Neil Henry. 

Annesley: Chris I'm quite confident we have tabled an offer here that we can all be very happy with. 

McQueen: Just out of interest, Scott Clark didn't have any hand in writing up this contract did he? 

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Annesley: No, no, no. Clark left the club yesterday after the Roberts' contract forgery. 

McQueen: Good, because I don't want to sign this thing only to later discover I "agreed" to name my first born Rumpelstiltskin and pay you for the right to play for the club. 

Annesley and Henry share a nervous laugh.

Henry: Chris I think you'll find our offer very generous, however if you're not 100% pleased with it there is a little...wiggle room too. 

McQueen thumbs through the contract, quietly scrutinizing it. 

McQueen: Er...guys? I think there's a typo here. We just need to slip in an extra zero and we're cheering. 

Henry pulls the contract away from McQueen and looks at it carefully. 

Henry: No. There's no typo here Chris. This all looks above board to me. 

McQueen: $150,000? That's your offer?

Annesley: Well, yes. 

McQueen: You're kidding, right? Is this a joke? Am I being punked? Where's Ashton Kutcher hiding? (McQueen looks under the table)

Henry: This is no joke Chris. We're dead serious. 

McQueen: I'm not being Punked then?

Annesley: No, not at all. 

McQueen: Then you're bloody dreaming! 

Henry: Why? We thought this to be a very generous offer.

McQueen: You see this tattoo on my neck? It is worth more than this piddly offer. Take a long hard look at my glorious $150,000 neck tattoo. Marvel in all its wonder. 

Annesley: What's the problem Chris?

McQueen: I was on $500K at the Bunnies and you have the gall to offer me $150? Get your hand off it you spaz's. I'm a representative player. I've played 117 NRL games. I can cover wing, centre, lock, back-row as well as front row in a real pinch. I'm one of the most versatile players in the game! 

Annesley and Henry form a huddle and whisper back and forth among each other. 

Henry: Ok Chris, we hear you. We really want you to be part of this team. 

McQueen: And I want to be here too but I'm not a charity case. 

Annesley: We understand this. And that's why we're prepared to offer you...$150,000 AND a $50 Coles/Myer gift card. Whaddya say?

McQueen: (rising from the table) This negotiation is over. No wonder DCE walked out on you lot. You've got your fingers up your bums and your heads in the clouds. The Titans are as doomed as the Dodo with you two in charge. 

McQueen gives Annesley and Henry the finger and leaves the room. Henry turns to Annesley. 

Henry: Geez, what's his problem? 

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