NRL 2 years ago

Manly Demands Answers From NRL Over Dodgy 2016 Draw

  • Manly Demands Answers From NRL Over Dodgy 2016 Draw

The following is a Stitch Up.

Manly CEO Joe Kelly and new coach Trent Barrett are livid following the release of the 2016 NRL draw. They are particularly upset that the Sea Eagles face four five day turn-around's in the opening nine rounds as well as three games in 10 days against three teams that featured in the 2015 finals series: Cronulla, Sydney City and South Sydney. 

In response Manly released a press statement, however Kelly and Barrett felt the statement was not enough. They both stormed into NRL headquarters to confront Head of Football Todd Greenberg. 

Kelly and Barrett burst into Todd Greenberg's office.

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Greenberg: How dare you? What is this in aid of? How did you get past security and my intern?

Kelly: There was no security or intern.

Greenberg: Lazy bastards. Sorry. Gentlemen, how can I help you?

Barrett: This bloody 2016 draw for us is ludicrous. Think of the players, think of the fans, think of the game! I'm deeply concerned for my players well being goddamnit!

Greenberg: Why? What's the problem? Are you concerned that your players will have to play footy? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what we're all here for? To see the players play?

Kelly: Don't get smart with us! They play so often! They could burn out!

Greenberg: So they're playing more games in the season than other teams?

Barrett: Well, no. But we have four five day turnarounds in the first nine rounds. It's unfair. I want an investigation. 

Greenberg: A Manly coach that wants an investigation? Gee, where have I heard that before?

Kelly: We just coughed up the equivalent to the Philippines financial deficit to secure Daly Cherry-Evans, now you expect him to play three games in ten days? We had to fire our lunch lady, Doris, to free up enough cash to pay DCE! I lived for Doris' smoked chicken bagels! If he gets injured our club is up the creek and Doris' retrenchment will have been in vain!

Greenberg: Ok fellas, I can see where you're coming from. In all honesty though, I didn't write up the draw. I left that in the capable hands of our new intern. He's working with us for free in a bid to gain valuable work experience that could play in his favor in applying for the vacant NRL CEO position. You can speak to him about it if you'd like?

Barrett: I think we need to, yes. 

Greenberg: (speaking into an intercom on his desk) Could you please come in here immediately? There are some gentleman that have some questions about the 2016 draw.

The doors to Greenberg's office swing open to reveal a grinning Geoff Toovey. 

Toovey: G'day fellas. What's the problem here?

Barrett: You're the intern who drew up the draw?

Toovey nods happily. 

Kelly: Jesus.

Toovey: I told you mongrels you hadn't heard the last of me! Ah ha ha ha! Suffer in your jocks! That's what you get for stabbing me in the back! E.A.D. you goons! Ha ha ha. 

Barrett and Kelly turn and leave Greenberg's office while Toovey mocks them as they leave. 

Toovey: Tell your story walking! You think this is bad? You better pray I don't get the CEO position! Ah ha ha ha!! 

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