The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously or less than two hours after eating.
Newly crowned UFC Featherweight Champ, Conor McGregor, answers questions from Joe Rogan immediately after his record breaking 13 second knock-out of Jose Aldo.
Rogan: Congratulations on a jaw dropping win.
McGregor: The only jaw really dropped was Jose Aldo's!
Rogan: Ha ha, good one. Talk us through what happened out there.
McGregor: I don't know, it was all over so quick...literally.
Rogan: Did you realize you had knocked him out when you made contact?
McGregor: I barely realized the fight had begun by time I'd actually knocked him out.
Rogan: What is the most difficult thing to wrap your head around looking back on this win?
McGregor: The fact that I put more time and effort into grooming my beard than I did into knocking out Aldo. Honestly, I didn't even break a sweat. Feel my brow, go on, feel it.
Rogan rubs two fingers across McGregor's brow.
McGregor: Dry as a bone isn't it? Wasn't even in danger of breaking a sweat!
Rogan: Not a drop of sweat.
McGregor: I'll tell you one thing though, I feel sorry for every punter out there who paid more than $60 to watch this bout on Pay Per View. $60 for 13 seconds worth of action! My entrance took longer than the fight itself!
Rogan: You're now the UFC Featherweight Champion of the world, what are you going to do next?
McGregor: I'm going to Disney Land...