The following is a Stitch Up
Today the QRL confirmed Kevin Walters as the new coach of the XXXX Gold Queensland Maroons. This came after Walters - the initial odds on favorite to get the job - was overlooked in favor of North Queensland Cowboys coach, Paul Green.
Walters was initially heartbroken at being overlooked for the job many saw as his.
Green knocked back the job and the QRL turned to their second choice. No one likes being second fiddle, so Kevvy cobbled together a list of demands before he accepted the Maroons job. This is that list.
I will accept this job only after the following requests are met by the QRL:1. The QRL is to delete Paul Green's mobile phone number, unfriend him from Facebook and unfollow him from Twitter.
2. QRL Managing Director Robert Moore is to stand atop the Storey Bridge holding a banner that reads "We're Sorry Kevvie, You're Number 1!!"
3. There is to be a solid gold, diamond studded statue of me erected out front of Suncorp Stadium. It is to be ten foot tall and put in Wally Lewis' place.
4. I want a $100 gift voucher to JB HiFi.
5. No one in the QRL or the Queensland media is to mention Paul Green ever again. From now on Paul Green does not exist.
6. QRL Chairman Peter Betros is to walk naked down the Queen Street Mall boasting a tattoo on his right butt cheek that reads "I Love Kevvie Walters"
7. I want two cartons of XXXX Summer delivered to my house every week, without fail.
Failure to fulfill these requests will result in my resignation from coaching the Maroons.