AFL 2 years ago

Email trail explains Hawthorn's salary cap

  • Email trail explains Hawthorn's salary cap

    MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - SEPTEMBER 16: A young Hawks fan looks on during the 2016 AFL Second Semi Final match between the Hawthorn Hawks and the Western Bulldogs at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on September 16, 2016 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Michael Willson/AFL Media/Getty Images)

The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by anyone for any reason at all.

The Hawks' aggressive splurging during this year's trade week has raised more than a handful of eye brows. People are beginning to wonder how they hope to keep under the salary cap while recruiting any one to have ever kicked a Sherrin.

This leaked e-mail trail will shed some light on how the Hawks salary cap remains compliant...on paper.

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From: Richard Garvey
To: Linda Kritjanson
CC: Alastair Clarkson, Cameron Bruce, The Accountant

Hello,

Ahead of the trade period this year I thought it prudent to bring in a creative minded accountant so we could get the best out of this trade period.

With that in mind I would like to introduce you all to our new accountant, Dr Seuss.

Dr Seuss comes to us with a doctorate and a long career in publishing. I personally haven't read any of your novels I'm sorry Doctor, but I am assured they are top notch.

The good Doctor has some interesting plans to bring in Ty Vickery, Jaeger O'Meara and Tom Mitchell.

I hope everyone will treat the good Doctor with the utmost respect.

Dick.

From: Alastair Clarkson
To: Richard Garvey
CC: Linda Kritjanson, Cameron Bruce, The Accountant

lol. is this a stitch up or what?

From: Richard Garvey
To: Alastair Clarkson
CC: Linda Kritjanson, Cameron Bruce, The Accountant

Not at all. The good Doctor has some splendid ideas. If you could fill us all in please Dr?

From: The Accountant
To: Alastair Clarkson
CC: Linda Kritjanson, Cameron Bruce, Richard Garvey

We drop Bradley Hill
Then one down are we
but who cares, Fremantle will give us pick 23

Further we must go into trade week

I like Jaeger O'Meara from the Suns
he runs like a gun who is having fun
but his wage is too large to gauge

Ty Vickery's new contract is full of trickery
I changed a 1 to a 0 and erased more 0's
'cause I'm mighty slippery

To pay for all this we drop Sam Mitchell
the fans will howl and scream
but West Coast will give us loads of cash, even a fistful!

From: Alastair Clarkson
To: Richard Garvey
CC: Linda Kritjanson, Cameron Bruce, The Accountant

lol. When the AFL is kicking down our door for breaches of the salary cap I want everyone to remember I had nothing to do with this weirdness....

And Dr Seuss, don't give Luke Hodge breakfast ever again!! He's had the squirts for a week and a half after your "special" breakfast of green eggs and ham.




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