The following is a Stitch Up and shouldn't be taken seriously by anyone for any reason at all.
Following revelations James Roberts pulled a woman's hair in a Gold Coast nightclub, the Brisbane Broncos top echelon of CEO Paul White, coach Wayne Bennett, manager of football operations Scot Czislowski and Captain, Darius Boyd got together to discuss how to move forward in handling Roberts and his endless string of off-field dramas.
White: This is a very serious situation indeed gentlemen. This latest incident has the potential to de-rail our 2017 Grand Final tilt.
Czislowski: We just can't understand what the common denominator is with all of Roberts' off field dramas. There has to be one common link between all of these incidents' that we can eliminate from the picture to keep poor James out of trouble.
White: That's exactly right. Last night he pulled some sheila's hair while drunk at a night club. Last year he got thrown out of the Normanby pub and put in a sleeper hold for being drunk and harassing a bartender. In 2014 he was arrested at Surfers Paradise for being drunk and a public nuisance. He has also beaten up a cabbie while drunk.
Boyd: I think I'm beginning to see a pattern in all of these incidents.
White: Yes, I'm afraid I do too.
Bennett: Other people.
Boyd: Exactly right. Roberts is always with other people when he gets in trouble or is accused of doing things to other people.
White: Ummm, you don't think it has anything to do with his drinking like a fish?
Boyd: Yeah, Dad's right, not at all. James can handle a couple of shandy's from time to time, it's just the fact that other people entice James to do the wrong thing.
Czislowski: So you're saying the girl goaded him into pulling her hair? The bartender baited him into abusing her? The cabbie wanted to be beaten up?
Boyd: Listen, what's more likely in this day and age? A genuine superstar with a drinking problem or the general public involved in an elaborate conspiracy to bait a public figure into disgracing themselves in the name of news?
White and Czislowski: Ummmm.....
Boyd: So it's decided, we'll just keep Roberts isolated at the Broncos Leagues Club with an unlimited bar tab. Can't see how he can get up to any trouble there.